Truth of Trauma

It is no coincidence that “Truth of Trauma” is the first track on the album. Many people who have had a traumatic childhood eventually realise that they were well aware of the truth, yet still willingly accepted the lies told by others. Not because it was the easier option, but because it was the only way to survive. Nevertheless, the self-reproach remains.

This is precisely what the line about the little boy stands for. For there is nothing more hypocritical than family photographs. The boy, now an adult, sees himself laughing and perhaps holding one of his parents tightly in his arms, but why? Why this lie? What remains is self-condemnation. Yet the reality of a child’s life is quite different. An adult often feels compelled to always present a clear, composed demeanour to others, but a child is grateful for every moment of peace and closeness. The sad truth of trauma.

These words may well shock some people, but trauma does not end when one becomes an adult. Not even when one leaves certain people behind. This is what I have tried to convey in the second line. After all, amongst friends and acquaintances, it’s normal to talk about little stories from childhood. But you yourself can only remain silent, or take the risk and tell the truth. Then there’s an awkward silence, a desperate attempt to change the subject, and to top it all off, you end up being labelled in an unpleasant way. What to do? Keep quiet! Suffer in solitude! Carry the trauma on.

When it comes to theory, everyone is understanding. But when people are actually put to the test, ninety-nine out of a hundred fail. The sad truth of trauma.

In the end, the person is left alone with their pain, with their story. No happy ending!

For this song, I actually opted for a mix of synthwave and coldwave. The repetitive sound is meant to represent the endless loop of pain. Every day, a person must face the truth anew: that lies and deception are more pleasant than the truth. They must face this struggle. Whether they want to or not. The sound reflects this exactly. The vocals imbue the misery with precisely the pain felt by the victims. The sad truth of the trauma is not merely heard; it is felt.