Depression

Nowadays, at least on advertising posters, depression is recognised as a serious illness. Socially speaking, however – in practice – there is still room for improvement.

The big problem with this illness is, of course, that there are no visible wounds, no plasters, no bleeding. Perhaps one or two people might notice that someone they know suddenly seems different, but this is rather rare. Because the person suffering knows, ‘I have to carry on functioning as normal’, and so they create a perfect mask. The mask isn’t actually very good, because, for example, you become particularly cheerful and pretend that nothing can stress you out. Observant people might already notice this difference. But why? The mask is so wonderfully comfortable, and the person is functioning just fine, after all!

The person suffering has to sort everything out for themselves. (Yes, help is available, but you have to recognise this first and allow yourself to accept it!)

The stupid problem with the illness is that at some point you can no longer hide it. I managed to carry on somehow for six years, then it was over.

And then there are the lovely colourful leaflets that tell you what to do next. I remember one sentence in particular and I’ll never forget it; “Talk to your friends and relatives; you’ll be amazed at how much understanding and help you’ll find.” Unfortunately, that statement didn’t prove true. I encountered a lack of understanding, insults, prejudice, ‘GOOD’ advice and even more pain. (I must say at this point that it’s still the right thing to do to open up to those around you. But perhaps these leaflets should also prepare you for the fact that the world won’t become a wonderful place afterwards.) At least I was able to use these leaflets as a sort of checklist. Because in them you could read which phrases you shouldn’t say to people with depression, and I’ve heard all of them. The most famous is probably: “Are you going to cry all day now?”.

What the leaflets also don’t tell you is that many people will let you down. Because our society only recognises people who ‘function’. Those who don’t function aren’t needed. I remember well all the things people used to say before I fell ill (‘We’d be nothing without you! What on earth would we do without you! You’re the most important person to us!’). When I stopped ‘functioning’, those very same people didn’t even know how to spell my name anymore.

The reality for someone who is ill is that, suddenly, you feel as though you’ve lost your mind, your ‘friends’ and your family. The world is teetering on the brink, and you’re left standing there all alone.

Neither my song lyrics nor my accompanying text can offer a happy ending here – that would be a lie. What I can honestly say is that it was strangers – professionals – who helped me. I can therefore only advise everyone to seek help from these very places and, above all, not to listen to the platitudes of friends and relatives. These people may mean well, but I, too, have heard platitudes that simply did not reflect my reality, and so they were of no help to me.

For ‘Depression’, I deliberately wanted to create a dramatic New Wave sound. The listener should feel the hopelessness and the pain. No gentle melody. No hope. Just pain. Can’t bear it? Well, it’s good that you have a choice! We who suffer from depression don’t have that choice! But perhaps one day we’ll be met with understanding rather than silly platitudes or even sillier advertising slogans.