Keine Hoffnung
The first album – The first step into madness
Almost all the songs on this album were written at a time when I wasn't even planning to make an album out of it. That's why the compilation of songs is still a bit wild. Some themes are perhaps still too repetitive. But these songs are also the best illustration of the circumstances that gave me the idea to write music lyrics in the first place.
They are mainly songs about situations and experiences that occupied me in the here and now. The nice thing about people is that they give you inspiration for lyrics every day. Not only that, the feeling that arose from the situations was the guideline for the sound of the song. So I'm not worried that I'll run out of ideas for lyrics at some point.
In the following, I not only open up the lyrics themselves, but also try to convey my intention bit by bit. Even if the lyrics are very direct, some of them can be interpreted one way or another. And misunderstandings would really annoy me.
Keine Hoffnung
Song Lyrics
Hoffnung?
Wo ist
die Hoffnung?
They see
But are blind.
They exist
Without living.
What is
a human being?
A world without hope.
Pain without relief.
Suffering like a curse.
Are you dead?
Or just weak?
Keine Hoffnung!
Keine Hoffnung!
Nie mehr!
Can't you hear the pain?
Are you deaf?
Are you senseless?
What makes you human?
A world without hope.
Pain without relief.
Suffering like a curse.
Are you dead?
Or just weak?
Keine Hoffnung!
Keine Hoffnung!
Nie mehr!
So many
cry out,
but are not heard.
They only disturb
your peace.
Harmony
built on tears.
Where
shall the path lead?
A world without hope.
Pain without relief.
Suffering like a curse.
Are you dead?
Or just weak?
Keine Hoffnung!
Keine Hoffnung!
Nie mehr!
The world is burning.
But the circus
goes on.
Laughing,
the end comes.
A world without hope.
Pain without relief.
Suffering like a curse.
Are you dead?
Or just weak?
Keine Hoffnung!
Keine Hoffnung!
Nie mehr!
Hoffnung?
habt ihr nicht verdient!
Intention
Keine Hoffnung (No hope) is less a firm statement than a kind of initial thesis, as in a scientific paper. It is the starting point of the journey and we will see whether the thesis is confirmed, refuted or only partially refuted.
The question that moved me at the beginning was, can you actually call a person human if they are not prepared to fight and live? Time and again you can observe that people are prepared to accept even the worst conditions in order to achieve a supposed harmony. As long as the grievance does not shake their own world, they close their eyes. Because any contradiction could disturb the harmonious balance. But what defines a person? To create change through dissent or to stabilise the ruling power through silence. Hannah Arendt described this behaviour as the ‘banality of evil’. It is not evil people who threaten humanity, but people who remain silent and watch injustice happen. This begs the question: why do people remain silent? Because they are dead? Or because they are weak?
The answer to this question is more theoretically important. The brutal result of silence is the death of all hope. Without critical voices, there is no change and therefore no progress. There is no hope. And it is precisely for this reason that the people who submit to this game do not deserve hope. They themselves choose the cowardly path of false harmony.
The fact that the song appears in a classic darkwave guise is only logical for me. Darkwave is musical hopelessness. The minimalist sound and the monotonous drums crush any sense of hope. That's exactly why I decided to write some of the lyrics in German. German is also the language of hopelessness. The language is cold and without any gentleness. The listener should know exactly what to expect from the very first song. A dark and cruel journey through the abysses of human existence. No party music, no expressions of love, no false harmony. Respect to those who overcome this journey! Those who switch off at the first song or don't switch on at all - this album wasn't created for you !
Question for the listener
What do you think, does hope simply exist for everyone, or do you have to earn it?
A Hate Song
Song Lyrics
People.
Preconceived opinions.
Black or white.
Make up your mind.
Or you're out.
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
I'm supposed to laugh.
I'm supposed to be
your clown.
That the clown sometimes cries
is not welcome.
Everyone has their role.
Submit to it.
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
Confirm our opinion.
Flatter our ego.
But don't question anything.
The punishment for this -
solitude.
Forever.
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
Helping others?
Highly desirable.
If the other person is yourself.
Equality for those
who are equal.
Don't ask questions!
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
Better to feel hate
than to give away false love.
This world doesn't deserve mercy.
These people don't deserve mercy.
That's why this is a hate song.
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
I hate people.
I hate your superficiality.
I hate feigned harmony.
I hate your hypocrisy.
I hate your fake world.
I hate everything about you.
This is a hate song.
Intention
At first glance, A Hate Song could be misunderstood as a misanthropic anthem. But it is more likely to be the anthem of disappointed idealists. The frightening thing about Western societies is the prevailing hypocrisy. Everything is open, democratic and equal. Well!
Yet communication increasingly consists of clear rules. Difficult and unpleasant topics are hidden. People only surround themselves with people who confirm their own truth. Each social group stays in its bubble to exclude any disturbance. Some discuss things in a Telegram chat and others in a trendy vegan café.
At the same time, people are assigned very specific roles. These often serve to secure their own structures. In my song, I take the most painful example of the clown, whose sad side nobody wants to see. Nobody is just funny. Everyone has a shadow, sometimes even several. This diversity should actually strengthen the human personality, but in order not to shake the social fabric, people are reduced to the most useful characteristic.
Anyone who breaks these rules and questions the understanding of roles and superficiality will be punished. Not with imprisonment and torture, as in traditional dictatorships, but with social isolation. The only thing left for people is to conform or to be alone. This dichotomy creates an invisible prison.
Yet it is precisely the diversity of opinions and social roles that keeps a democracy alive. Only if I question things , I can achieve progress. But that's not the point. Progress is sacrificed for personal comfort and harmony.
That is why the last verse also says that it is better to hate people than to give false love. Those who free themselves from critical thinking do not deserve mercy.
To express precisely this depressing reality, I decided on a coldwave song. A gloomy and monotonous rhythm that leaves no hope. The slow tempo also makes the song itself feel like an instrument of torture. The listener should not feel comfortable, the mood should be oppressive, perhaps even frightening. Because these are exactly the feelings I have when I look at the state of society.
The slow and hopeless male and female vocals also emphasise two things. Firstly, that it doesn't matter who sells what truth if criticism is suppressed. Secondly, that social grievances really know no gender.
Question for the listener
Is harmony worth the sacrifice of authenticity?
Wasted Life
Song Lyrics
No memories.
Blurred images.
Fragments of past conversations.
Those
who have no past
have no future.
What remains?
The pain of emptiness.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Rooms.
corridors.
Empty.
Childhood.
Insecure.
What remains?
Painful betrayal.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Who to ask
when the world ends.
Not the strangers
next door.
They brought the pain.
They brought the danger.
What remains?
A life of fear.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Pas de pardon.
Pas de clémence.
Vous aviez le choix.
Pas moi.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Friendship.
When it costs nothing.
Together in laughter.
Separated in struggle.
Dishonest glances.
No answers.
What remains?
Cruel realisation.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Alienated from people.
Alienated from the world.
Impossible to understand.
The abyss determines life.
What remains?
No escape.
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Surviving in a dead society.
Every day is torture.
Just punishment
for a wasted life?
Trust.
(Distrust.)
Love.
(Hate.)
Shelter.
(Lostness.)
Protection.
(Fear.)
Dreams.
(Nightmares.)
Né mort.
Vivre en mourant.
Il n'y avait pas le choix.
Intention
Wasted Life is a dark and desperate song about trust. Normally, people are given a pinch of basic trust after birth. But what if this doesn't happen? What if the image of the sacred family is called into question? Then you experience a form of alienation that is unrivalled. Because two truths should not be called into question in society. The love of a mother for her child and that blood is thicker than water. In addition to the lack of basic trust, there is also the realisation of social hypocrisy. The veil of self-deception is not only shattered, it is set on fire.
From now on, everything and everyone is called into question. What is friendship? Having fun together or sticking together even when the price is infinitely high? Being torn between the desire for trust and the mistrust that actually exists leads to endless alienation. It's a curse that you were born with. Although parents had the choice, the child has been deprived of that choice. A dead person is born. Life becomes survival.
This cruel realisation only deserves the cold sound of coldwave. Cold and hopeless. The alienation of man is to be felt and suffered. The almost monotonous vocals strip the subject of any emotionality. It is the perception of a cruel reality, nothing more. The change between singing and whispering in the chorus also transports the listener into the inner conflict in which the alienated person lives. The switch between English and French is also intended to symbolise a person's inner conflict. The realistic English is interrupted by the gentle and yearning French. Perhaps it is also an expression of an oppressive contradiction, the contradiction of being dead and at the same time feeling a burning desire.
Question for the listener
Do you know the pain of alienation?
Die a Lie
Song Lyrics
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
No opinion.
Conformist.
The easy way?
Selling yourself.
Soulless.
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
What are you?
A puppet?
Is the price worth it?
A laugh.
Hidden tears.
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
A thousand friends.
None real.
When you cry,
Who comforts you?
A lie?
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
A deception,
How long does it last?
A lifetime?
You will find out.
Painful!
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
Why not contradict once?
Resistance,
For your own soul.
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
Tell me
Who you are!
One of many?
Unique?
Shadow
Or human?
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
Backbone,
Doesn't come naturally!
The straight path,
Smells of hypocrisy!
Do you really want to walk it?
Don't hide
behind your fear!
You can be a shadow,
or a flash of lightning
in the dark night.
Choose!
Or die a lie!
I have made my choice!
And you?
Intention
People like to pretend that they have no choice in difficult situations. But there is always a choice between remaining silent and watching or raising your voice and offering resistance.
The banality of evil also takes centre stage in ‘Die a Lie’. It is not evil people who endanger the world, but those who remain silent. Systems that rely on oppression can only exist if the overwhelming majority remain silent. The reasons for this silence are irrelevant.
Instead of facing reality, people become shadows that hide behind slogans, jokes and lies. Although the individual suffers under the prevailing conditions, they strengthen and stabilise the oppressive system through their own silence. The victim becomes an accomplice. It is precisely for this reason that I ask the question of what one wants to be: shadow or lightning. Everyone has a choice and those who close their eyes to it have already made their choice. These people will die a lie.
For me, darkwave is the perfect framework for this decision between shadow or lightning. The dark atmosphere emphasises the relevance of such a decision. There are no motivating beats, no anthem-like vocals. It represents everyday human life, because this is exactly where this decision has to be made.
Question for the listener
Do you know situations in which you had to make this decision? Which path did you take?
Dark Dream Woman
Song Lyrics
Your skin is pale.
Your eyes are black.
No smile.
Empty pain.
Faith - lost long ago.
False hope abandoned.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Meaningless gossip.
False friends.
You don't play along.
Better alone
than surrounded by zombies.
Your strength
comes from within.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Your movements
– full of grace.
Your lips
– promise fulfilment.
But only for those
– who are strong enough.
For everyone else
– you have nothing but contempt.
Dark dream woman
– where are you?
I've been searching for you
for so long.
Only you can set me free.
Take away my pain.
Stay with me (forever).
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Your gaze tells so much.
You have seen the abyss.
That's why you're alone.
No more false friends.
Blood is no longer
thicker than water.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Your black hair
makes your whiteness glow.
Your beauty comes from within.
You are passion.
Only a handful will see.
Hatred for many
- devotion for a few.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Where can I find you?
Only in the shadows!
You don't need the limelight.
You know
who you are.
What you want.
Better to die alone
than to live without you.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
Dark soul.
Recognise your might.
Those who know darkness
are no longer deceived by light.
You are the death of hope.
Truth will rise.
This world will fall.
Dark Dream Woman.
(set me free)
Intention
Question for the listener
What is Passion
Song Lyrics
Emptiness!
All around me
is emptiness!
Two voices,
a scream of lust.
What is passion?
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
I feel the touch.
It leaves me cold.
You are one of a thousand.
Boring.
Meaningless.
Devotion is more
than bad porn.
Your beauty dazzles,
but it does not deceive.
Two voices,
a scream of lust.
What is passion?
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
I hear dirty words.
A wild scream.
But in your eyes
No fire - no passion!
Memorised theatre.
You're on OnlyFans!
How exciting
For a boy.
The same pictures,
The same sayings.
Two voices,
a scream of lust.
What is passion?
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
When you touch me,
I want to shiver.
Your kiss,
A cold breath of death.
Your words,
Like a dark dream.
What is lust?
What is passion?
What is love?
Two voices,
a scream of lust.
What is passion?
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
I am searching for you!
My queen of darkness.
You control me
With your charm,
Your intelligence,
Your authenticity.
Two voices,
a scream of lust.
What is passion?
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
Deliver me from emptiness.
Let me feel!
Let me experience!
What true devotion is!
Your world is empty!
It is no longer enough for me!
Where can I find you?
Intention
Question for the listener
Verzweiflung
Song Lyrics
The streets
Full of empty faces.
Rain washes away the dirt
But not the grime.
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Verzweiflung (Verzweiflung)
The walls are grey.
The words are empty.
Eyes – full of lies.
The wind screams
In pain.
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Verzweiflung (Verzweiflung)
A river
Of pain and blood.
People
Wash their hands
In innocence.
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Verzweiflung (Verzweiflung)
The desperate cries
of the lost.
Are not heard.
See nothing!
Hear nothing!
Feel nothing!
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Verzweiflung (Verzweiflung)
The laughter stops.
Tears hide the truth.
What is a human being?
What is life?
No answer.
No hope.
No future.
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Recognise the truth!
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Among you.
But not with you.
Coldness.
Hypocrisy.
Lies.
Greed.
Verzweiflung!
Nur noch Verzweiflung!
Schmerzhaft!
Wahr!
Intention
Western societies like to see themselves as perfect democracies and shining lights of modernity. In fact, there is a painful form of hypocrisy here. The desperate pain of living among these people, but not being part of them, is the driving force behind the song ‘Verzweiflung’.
More and more people are suffering under Western systems and their arrogance. This no longer only affects third world countries. The gap between rich and poor is also growing in the countries themselves. In the richest countries of the West, people have to live without housing and without a future. Instead of attacking the system that creates such contradictions, nice words and excuses are invented. It doesn't matter that neither changing the language nor setting up prestige objects will bring any improvement. Actions become alibis for not acting. One's own conscience should be bathed in innocence.
But what happens when we sacrifice our compassion for our own well-being? If people lose their humanity, are they still human at all? A question that alone can drive us to despair. The only solution in our society: say nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing!
For me, the mixture of darkwave and synthpop reflects this inner despair of being part of a society that you don't understand. The desperate female vocals intensify this inner pain. The listener should not understand, he should feel. The mood of despair is brutally heightened by the German lyrics. The coldness of the German language emphasises the motif of this song. I understand the language, but its content disgusts me.
Question for the listener
How do you feel about life here?
Entering the Darkness
Song Lyrics
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
The last step into silence.
No more light that blinds.
Voices fall silent.
No more lies.
No more games.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
Soul is broken.
Pain sustains life.
Tears have dried up.
Will there be peace now?
Or is there no end to suffering?
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
I take a deep breath.
Cold air eases the pain.
A gentle breeze
caresses the scars.
No more false warmth.
The theater is closed.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
This path
you cannot follow.
Too much fear
of your own lies.
To cross the mirror,
you must look into it.
Too much shame.
Too much to lose.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
This path leads to solitude.
Cruel.
Painful.
But true.
Does deception make you happy?
But what if it shatters?
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
I've made my choice.
Better to be alone
than surrounded by lies.
Entering darkness
means embracing truth.
For all time.
There's no turning back.
Closing my eyes,
feeling nothing,
entering the darkness.
Intention
‘Entering the Darkness’ can be understood as Plato's anti-cave allegory. For Plato, stepping out into the light is the path to knowledge. I, on the other hand, only see light as a form of human blindness. Only the path into the darkness frees us from the glare. Only here can we recognise reality and free ourselves from the pain of hypocrisy; only in the darkness do lies, games and false warmth no longer have a chance to deceive us. Only here can our tears dry and our scars heal. This space also offers special protection. Other people can only face it when they look into their own reflection. But the shame and the danger of losing one's own truth is so great that many are unable to take this path. Darkness is the shelter of all those who no longer want to be blinded.
Of course, the path into darkness also has its price. Solitude. So the question remains: what is more important, self-deception or realisation? But also the anxious question of what happens when the self-deception is shattered? Because then there is no turning back. Knowledge cannot be revised.
The gloomy, monotonous coldwave, the duet of the cold and mystical female voice with the emotionless male voice is intended to plunge the listener into the darkness itself. The violins are like a musical swan song to the self-deception that ceases to exist. The gentle breathing with reverb reinforces the illusion of a deep, dark cave in which one's own methods of blinding no longer work. The listener is supposed to be torn between the gentle keynote and the frightening nuances. What am I? Blinding or knowledge?
Question for the listener
Do you see yourself as part of the darkness?
Je le Veux
Song Lyrics
Approche-toi tout près.
Touche-moi.
J'ai besoin de ta proximité.
Je crains ta proximité.
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Embrasse mes lèvres.
Satisfais mon esprit.
Découpe ma chair.
Lèche mon sang.
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Crie !
Remplis-moi de désir.
Remplis-moi de profondeur.
Je veux plus qu'une ombre.
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Que tes yeux me captivent.
Que tes mots me délivrent.
Que tes mains me libèrent.
Soumets-moi !
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Le dévouement, c'est la passion !
L'intelligence, c'est le désir !
L'humour noir, c'est la vraie grandeur !
Reconnais - ce qu'est l'amour !
Soumets-toi à moi !
Je me soumets à toi !
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Si je meurs,
ce sera uniquement par tes mains.
Le dévouement ne connaît pas de limites.
C'est le chemin vers l'épanouissement !
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
Qu'est-ce que l'amour ?
La douleur ?
L'attachement ?
La blessure ?
L'épanouissement ?
La haine ?
La complicité ?
L'humiliation ?
Le désir ?
Je le veux !
Je le veux !
Donne-le-moi !
Ou tue-moi !
Intention
Question for the listener
Where is your God
Song Lyrics
I don't believe in lies!
I don't believe in murderers!
I don't believe in abuse!
That's why I don't believe!
Millions are dying.
Pious words.
The bomb is blessed.
God is satisfied.
Are you too?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
I cannot see him! (Nowhere)
Africa is bleeding.
No contraception, they preach.
Suffering — who cares!
Believer or worthless.
Dead or damned.
And God laughs.
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
I don't hear his voice. (Only silence)
The child's crying.
Unheard!
Priests abuse.
Priests lie.
Why do they not fear God?
Does God not exist?
Is that the truth?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
I see no tears. (Only sorrow)
A life of humility and poverty?
Churches filled with gold.
Chambers for the cardinals.
No housing, no food for the poor.
They must believe — not live.
Controlled by a lie.
God — created by humans.
To oppress humans.
Why do you believe?
Kill God — become your own god!
Eva must be obedient.
She must submit.
The Bible commands it!
God wants it!
Don't be Eva!
Be Lilith!
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is the compassion? (Only applause)
Protect unborn life?
Better a starving child,
than an unborn child.
Baptized as a baby.
Forcibly recruited.
The number of believers
must be right.
For God!
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
Where is your God?
God is dead!
Flames will burn your lies!
God is dead!
Intention
This song is not so much a criticism of people who believe in God and want to live according to his rules, but rather a criticism of Christian institutions. It is precisely these institutions that tell people in Africa that contraception is the devil's work. The fact that millions of people suffer and die as a result does not matter to the church. Maintaining its own power is more important than the well-being of a continent.
The way the Christian church deals with the abuse of children by its representatives is also shocking. Perpetrators are protected, victims are intimidated and portrayed as liars for as long as possible. If sexual abuse were to occur on such a scale in any other organisation, we would immediately speak of a systemic problem. But the church can use its power to prevent any prosecution of the offences. We are unlikely to see police operations in church facilities, arrests or an application to ban the Christian church. The secular order submits to the real power of a criminal organisation.
But what about the religious perspective? Religious punishment? If you agree with the belief in God and his rules, then you should fear nothing so much as God's punishment. But apparently this perspective has no influence on the actions of Christian representatives. Crimes are committed, crimes are covered up and the words of God are forgotten. So if the representatives of God on earth themselves have no fear of God, is this not the ultimate proof of the non-existence of a divine being?
For this reason, I ask provocatively in my song ‘Where is your God’. Where is the being that presumes to dictate to people how they should think, act and live? A god who banished Lilith because she didn't want to submit to a man. A god who blessed bombs that kill people. A god who looks on when his representatives abuse children. A god who preaches poverty but lets his representatives live in wealth. For me, the only way left is to agree with Nitzsche, God is dead.
Musically, I wanted to create a kind of indictment. The darkness of darkwave stands for the accuser of God who refuses to accept injustice. The female vocals are bitter sarcasm. Because even in the 21st century, it must be painful for God's representatives to be accused by a woman of all people. The choir is the jury. This jury mercilessly asks the question, where is your God and in the end comes to the judgement that your God is dead. The listener should feel outrage when I look at the crimes of the church. They should feel the desire for the perpetrators to finally receive their justice and secular punishment.
Question for the listener
Are the crimes of the church proof of God's non-existence?
Loneliness ist Torture
Song Lyrics
There is no way
out of loneliness.
Walls – open – impossible to overcome.
Locked up by myself.
Who has the key?
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Longing is tearing me apart.
Longing for you.
I don't know you.
I don't know what you look like.
But I know you exist.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Fear of getting it.
Fear of losing it.
Better alone than abandoned.
No one sees lonely tears.
No new scars.
Just old sorrow.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Where does the emptiness come from?
Memory is dead.
Much was said.
Even more was promised.
Empty words.
Deceptions.
Born dead.
Never awakened.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Time passes.
The pain remains.
Questions – millions of questions.
No answers.
I am still here.
I am waiting.
I am waiting.
I am holding on.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Loneliness is torture.
Closeness is cruelty.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
A prison.
Chosen by me.
Created by strangers.
No air to breathe.
Silence – cruel and real.
Intention
‘Loneliness is Torture’ is certainly torture for the listener. Because it questions something that must not be questioned in our society. One's own family. The family is the foundation of our basic trust. It provides us with a moral guide on our path through life. But what if they don't do exactly that? What if a child learns mistrust instead of trust? When you are forced to develop your own morals in a world of immorality.
Then you get a stigma that you are not allowed to talk about. This truth is not wanted and will not be tolerated. The patterns from childhood are repeated; it must have been you!
The consequence for the individual is silence and loneliness. All that keeps you alive is the hope of finding someone who understands your own abyss. Until then, you withdraw emotionally into a prison (A prison. Chosen by me). It was created by people who should be close to you, but who are only strangers (Created by strangers).
Since the feeling of basic trust never arose, and one's own perception is deeply disturbed, life is not an experience, but an endurance. Understanding this truth is painful and people with a positive view of life are unlikely to be able to follow this view. After all, it calls all the truths of our society into question.
The mixture of post-punk, electronic and darkwave brings the hopelessness of this truth to full bloom in all its brutality. The male vocals are the voice of realisation and realistic assessment. The female vocals are the voice of hope to find someone who can end the pain. A voice that rises up in the darkness to create some light after all. The hard guitar riffs intensify the feeling of painful truth. You can't run away, you can only hold on.
Question for the listener
Is this view too radical or can you understand it?
J´aime la Nuit
Song Lyrics
Was ist Schmerz?
Der Weg zum Tod?
Lebendigkeit?
Die Nacht verwischt die Spuren
des Tages.
Kein Licht mehr.
Kein Verstecken.
Ich kann atmen.
Wieder gehen.
Libérez-moi de la lumière.
Je ne suis pas là pour
vous accompagner.
Votre monde rayonne.
Il est si sombre.
J'aime la nuit.
J'aime le silence.
Votre absence.
Die Sonne strahlt.
Blendet mich.
Täuscht mich - nicht.
Lachen
überall Lachen.
Falsch - gespielt.
Libérez-moi de la lumière.
Je ne suis pas là pour
vous accompagner.
Votre monde rayonne.
Il est si sombre.
J'aime la nuit.
J'aime le silence.
Votre absence.
Die Guten stehen im Licht.
Ich stehe im Schatten.
Will nicht sein wie ihr.
Will kein Theaterspiel.
Verstecke mich
hinter dem Spiegel.
Muss mich nicht sehen.
Libérez-moi de la lumière.
Je ne suis pas là pour
vous accompagner.
Votre monde rayonne.
Il est si sombre.
J'aime la nuit.
J'aime le silence.
Votre absence.
Schwüre auf die Freundschaft.
In guten Zeiten.
In schlechten.
Getrennte Wege.
Ich kenne diesen Weg.
Will ihn nicht mehr gehen.
Ich bleibe stehen.
Libérez-moi de la lumière.
Je ne suis pas là pour
vous accompagner.
Votre monde rayonne.
Il est si sombre.
J'aime la nuit.
J'aime le silence.
Votre absence.
Ihr seid Menschen?
Ich nicht!
Ich bin ein Toter!
Libérez-moi de la lumière.
Je ne suis pas là pour
vous accompagner.
Votre monde rayonne.
Il est si sombre.
J'aime la nuit.
J'aime le silence.
Votre absence.
Intention
I love the night is a questioning of social perception. People like to present themselves in the light, preferably directly in the sunlight. After all, it stands for the good, the beautiful and for humanity itself. Who hasn't seen these wonderful pictures of people on the beach in the sunshine with a smile on their lips? How boring.
This is exactly where my song comes in. It questions the positivity of light and presents a person who consciously chooses darkness. From his point of view, light only serves to dazzle others. The world of light is an illusory world. Authenticity can only be found in the shadows, in darkness.
The song depicts typical patterns of behaviour in our society. People like to laugh together and pretend the world is perfect. We swear by our common friendship and solidarity, but when the day comes and our friendship is put to the test, we lose ourselves in excuses and hypocrisy. We want to dance together in the sunlight, but not break through walls in the rain.
Social interaction is rather a kind of theatre play in which everyone has their role. Those who no longer take part in this game are excluded. Because the radiant light must not be disturbed by darkness.
That is why it is of course very practical to hide behind the mirror. Because to follow you there, the average person would have to look in the mirror. However, only a few are prepared to take this painful step. The song thus negates everything that humanity calls human. Consequently, I say that I am not human, I am a dead man.
The avant-garde synthpop sound with its clinical and monotonous soundscape draws the listener into the depths of human blindness and the desire to no longer be part of a society that blinds itself. The alternation between German and French lyrics is a play on language. These two languages could not be more different, one cold and distant and the other gentle and emotional. The character's inner turmoil is also conveyed through the language and thus intensified. The violins create a feeling of emotionality that is more painful than calming.
The listener should feel pain, he should ask himself the question; do I stand in the light and allow myself to be dazzled or do I enter the darkness and open myself up to self-knowledge.
Question for the listener
Where do you stand?
Tote Seele
Song Lyrics
Was ist Leben?
Kenne ich es?
Kennt ihr es?
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Du kennst den Menschen
kennst die Lügen
kennst die Täuschung
war das dein Tod
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Du kennst den Regen
die Hoffnung
die Ernüchterung
warum verschwindet
der Dreck nicht
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Du kennst die Reden
große Worte
keine Taten
kommen daher
deine Tränen
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Eine Seele
kann nicht leben
kann nicht sterben
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Du kennst die Dunkelheit
die Wärme
die Ruhe
lässt dich
nicht mehr blenden
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
weil du diese Welt kennst
bist du tot
lässt dich treiben
im Schmerz
Tote Seele
verlierst dich
kennst nur Schmerz
warum - warum
bist du hier
Intention
Question for the listener
The Lost One
Song Lyrics
Silence.
Why only silence?
No longer hear your voice.
Where are you?
I look in the mirror,
No longer recognise you.
Who are you? (Who?)
Lost in the void.
Burned in pain.
Feelings shattered.
Shattered like glass.
I am the lost one.
No one is looking.
I lost myself.
Never found.
Never loved.
Contempt
for myself.
Emptiness.
Nothing but emptiness.
I touch you,
But feel nothing.
Try to remember,
You remain a stranger.
Am I dead? (Forever)
Lost in the void.
Burned in pain.
Feelings shattered.
Shattered like glass.
I am the lost one.
No one is looking.
I lost myself.
Never found.
Never loved.
Contempt
for myself.
Emotionless.
Nothing but coldness.
Kisses
Full of pain.
Love,
Only feigned.
Let me feel! (Again)
No hope!
No future!
Life is dead!
No human being,
Only a machine.
Lost in the void.
Burned in pain.
Feelings shattered.
Shattered like glass.
I am the lost one.
No one is looking.
I lost myself.
Never found.
Never loved.
Contempt
for myself.
Loneliness.
The punishment for knowledge.
The death mask
Ripped off.
The truth seen.
Why? (Why?)
Lost in the void.
Burned in pain.
Feelings shattered.
Shattered like glass.
I am the lost one.
No one is looking.
I lost myself.
Never found.
Never loved.
Contempt
for myself.
Redemption!
Does not exist! (Never)
Intention
People generally take it for granted that they can feel joy and happiness. Everyone accepts the absence of both feelings for a certain period of time, but what if not feeling them becomes a permanent condition? This is exactly what I deal with in my song ‘The Lost One’.
Trauma experiences can freeze positive feelings. This is actually a clever move by our mind to protect people from breaking. But unfortunately this state does not disappear when the cause disappears. It remains as a deep scar of memory. The former protection becomes brutal torture. While you remember what joy or happiness once felt like, you can no longer evoke the feeling in the here and now.
You end up in the ambivalent situation that other people in particular take it for granted that you have these feelings and also show them. But the fact that you can't do this is socially unacceptable. The lesson from this is to learn to fake feelings. Not because you want to, but because you have to and it is expected. People are torn between the real situation and the fake reality. Your own perception casts doubt on your own vitality. In my song I say ‘No human being, Only a machine’, trying to make the listener realise that life does not automatically have to be perceived as alive.
All that remains in people is the hope that the dark fog over their own feelings will lift. That the theatre play can finally come to an end.
The mixture of industrial and coldwave is not only intended to portray the oppressive feeling, it should make the despair tangible. The mechanical industrial makes an emotional text seem machine-like and emotionless. The coldwave and the female vocals with a strong reverb effect create a feeling as if there is still a kind of memory far away of what is missing in the industrial sound.
For people with a normal emotional world, a song like this might seem challenging, perhaps even unbearable, but it is mainly aimed at those people who immediately understand what is being talked about here.
Question for the listener
Do you recognise yourself in this description? And how do you deal with it?
The Unwanted
Song Lyrics
Truth is followed by silence
Honesty creates fear
A thousand lifeless faces
Masks smiling (lying)
Words without meaning
The dead talking to the dead
A world
Doomed to die (forever)
There is no hope
Just doom
Hopelessness
Rules the world
Destruction
Will redeem it
This is the revenge
Of the unwanted
You will drown
in our blood
We are different
We feel pain (So intense)
We are not welcome
In your world
Asking questions
Not welcome
Questioning the truth
Demonised
There is no hope
Just doom
Hopelessness
Rules the world
Destruction
Will redeem it
This is the revenge
Of the unwanted
You will drown
in our blood
Passion (apathy)
Pain (exemption)
Torture (lust)
Abuse (lostness)
Death (life)
There is no hope
Just doom
Hopelessness
Rules the world
Destruction
Will redeem it
This is the revenge
Of the unwanted
You will drown
in our blood
You created us
We are the monstrosity
Of your hypocrisy
You can deny us
But you cannot escape us
We are the rampage
That makes you bleed (So cruel)
There is no hope
Just doom
Hopelessness
Rules the world
Destruction
Will redeem it
This is the revenge
Of the unwanted
You will drown
in our blood
There is no hope
Just doom
Hopelessness
Rules the world
Destruction
Will redeem it
This is the revenge
Of the unwanted
You will drown
in our blood
Intention
If society condemns being different, then you have to celebrate yourself. That's exactly what the song ‘The Unwanted’ is for. Society doesn't want to deal with abysses, it doesn't want to look into the depths of human existence. It is therefore only understandable that people who put these topics on the agenda by their very existence are treated with rejection by other people. Why these critical questions, why these dark thoughts? We want to laugh and feel good!
The perverse thing about this situation is that it is precisely this superficiality and the pretence of false harmony that have contributed massively to the emergence of the unwanted. Society creates its own monsters. And the monsters' revenge is to confront society with its own actions. The pain must be infinite when your own lies are shattered. However, my sympathy is limited.
The fascinating thing about the unwanted is that they show greater empathy with each other than society, which literally writes empathy on its banners. People like to say that the insane are not in the madhouse, but rather running around outside. The truth is even more brutal. The supposedly insane are not only the actual ‘normal’ ones, they are also in the madhouse because they can no longer stand the hypocrisy and superficiality of others. Perhaps the madhouse is the last place to find peace from the truly insane.
The mystical synthwave with its hymn-like character should also be understood as a hymn. A hymn for the unheard, for the unseen, for the unwanted. This song is only for these people.
For everyone else, the almost ritualistic sound is intended to create fear and anxiety. Just because you close your eyes, the truth does not cease to exist.
Question for the listener
What are you? Unwanted or conformist?
Let me dry your Tears
Song Lyrics
I saw your tears.
I felt the pain
that was tearing you apart.
No one wanted to see it.
No one wanted to understand.
That's how the path to loneliness began.
(Close your eyes.)
(Feel the silence.)
(Pain will disappear.)
Let me dry your tears.
You will find closeness
in my arms.
My words will comfort you.
I will take away the pain.
My devotion is love.
Do you trust me?
Life is pain.
Pain is the path.
To knowledge.
To truth.
You will see!
You didn't know protection.
You hid your fear
behind a mask.
You rehearsed your role perfectly.
You fooled everyone.
Except me!
(Close your eyes.)
(Feel the silence.)
(Pain will disappear.)
Let me dry your tears.
You will find closeness
in my arms.
My words will comfort you.
I will take away the pain.
My devotion is love.
Do you trust me?
Life is pain.
Pain is the path.
To knowledge.
To truth.
You will see!
You laugh,
but your eyes cry.
Domination is your game,
weakness is the truth.
Where will your path lead?
How much pain
can you suffer?
How much blood
are you willing to shed?
Shatter your mask.
Realize who you are.
Don't let your love be killed.
Freedom comes through pain.
At the end of darkness,
light awaits.
(Close your eyes.)
(Feel the silence.)
(Pain will disappear.)
Let me dry your tears.
You will find closeness
in my arms.
My words will comfort you.
I will take away the pain.
My devotion is love.
Do you trust me?
Life is pain.
Pain is the path.
To knowledge.
To truth.
You will see!
You push away those
who love you.
You submit to those
who abuse you.
How will this death spiral end?
By hanging yourself?
By overdosing?
A death like life itself.
Pathetic.
(Close your eyes.)
(Feel the silence.)
(Pain will disappear.)
Let me dry your tears.
You will find closeness
in my arms.
My words will comfort you.
I will take away the pain.
My devotion is love.
Do you trust me?
Life is pain.
Pain is the path.
To knowledge.
To truth.
You will see!
The blade cuts your flesh.
You want to feel.
To live.
Crying.
Bleeding.
You lie on the ground.
Outer pain will disappear.
Inner pain never will.
(Close your eyes.)
(Feel the silence.)
(Pain will disappear.)
Let me dry your tears.
You will find closeness
in my arms.
My words will comfort you.
I will take away the pain.
My devotion is love.
Do you trust me?
Life is pain.
Pain is the path.
To knowledge.
To truth.
You will see!
Intention
There is a phenomenon that has always fascinated me in a frightening way. Broken people try to use their pain to prove that they are still alive;
Some put on a mask and play a role that is so deceptively real that their true core is barely recognisable. They deny, hide and laugh at the pain they actually feel. Even when you offer them a helping hand, they angrily slap it away. Because admitting the truth is far more painful than living a lie every day.
The others, on the other hand, repeatedly seek closeness to people who display the same toxic behavioural traits as the people who have broken the victim. This realisation is mind-boggling. It takes a lot of patience to realise that they are not looking for the toxic, but for the familiar. Even if life with toxic people is painful, it's familiar and you don't have to learn any new rules of the game. People like to say ‘Man is a creature of habit’. This is proven here in a cruel way, but where is this path supposed to lead? Isn't it like running away from your own demons?
That's why in my song ‘Let me dry your Tears’ I provocatively ask where all this is supposed to lead, to an overdose or to hanging. Perhaps this song is not just a handout to two special people, but to everyone who has lost themselves in the maze of madness.
The dark 80s synthwave is meant to symbolise the darkness in which these people live. The melancholic female vocals symbolise the pain they have to endure every day and the deep atmosphere, the depth of their personality. Because although they are broken, they have developed a human depth that most people are denied. Their pain is terrifying and fascinating at the same time. It is the beauty in evil.
Question for the listener
Where does the path of pain lead?
I run and run
Song Lyrics
Run!
Run!
Run!
Run!
The streets are dark.
Rain covers the traces of pain.
Lights show the way.
Where should I go?
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
I searched through dirty alleys.
I ripped every poster off the wall.
Behind them,
I found only emptiness.
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
In the halls of darkness,
I screamed for you.
The echo summoned a thousand words.
But no answer.
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
Blood stains
on the floor of desire.
Signs
of an endless search.
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
I have seen hundreds of faces.
They promised a lot.
They delivered nothing.
Never.
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
Is there an answer?
Somewhere?
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
I run and I run.
And I run.
And I run.
Never stopped.
I run and run.
Where must I go?
Where can I find you?
The voice that comforts me.
The touch that warms me.
The passion that satisfies me.
The eyes that see through me.
When can I stop running?
When can I stop running?
Never!
Intention
‘I run and run’ is a song about an endless search for something that cannot be put into words.
You feel inside that something is missing. But you are neither able to give it a name nor put a face to it. You look for it in other people. You look for it in tasks. You look for it in theories. And some people probably also look for it in religion.
But there is no answer to the question of the black hole in your own soul. So you go on and on. All that remains is the question: when can I stop running?
That's why there is no happy ending in my song, because that would have been a lie for me. False hope is far more painful than facing reality. Moreover, false hope is the way of cowards. Self-delusion may be nice for a while, but when the bubble shatters, there's nothing left.
The mix of melancholic synthpop and new wave in this song creates a deep emotional journey. The listener is to be sent on a journey. A journey through despair, desire, pain and fight. The soft female vocals are like the voice of desire that drives you to keep going. The constantly repeating chorus shows the infinity of this journey.
This song also marks the end of the album. At the beginning was the question: Is there no more hope? The answer at the end is sobering. There is neither no hope nor real hope. All that remains is the realisation that life means holding on and fighting. An unsatisfying answer?
Question for the listener
Which answer would you have preferred to hear?